Private party gigs: pricing, expectations, and keeping the room

A 50th birthday in a garden is not a wedding, not a corporate event and not a bar gig, but bands price and play it as if it were one of those. Private parties have their own rules: a host who is also a guest, a room that is often somebody's living room, and an audience that arrived to see each other, not you.

What a private party actually is

The host is paying you to make their party feel like an event. Success is measured by one thing: did people dance and stay? A private party is also the highest-referral gig you can play. Sixty guests who had a great night are sixty people with birthdays, anniversaries and companies of their own. Half of a good function band's private bookings come from earlier private bookings.

The common formats:

• Milestone birthdays (30, 40, 50, 60): 40 to 120 guests, a rented room, a garden or a restaurant. Two sets, sometimes three.
• Anniversaries: smaller, older audience, a first-dance moment is common.
• Garden and house parties: small stages, noise limits, neighbours.
• Retirement, graduation, homecoming: mixed ages, speeches, a lot of background time.

Pricing

Price private parties between bar gigs and weddings. Typical ranges in Europe for a professional band, varying a lot by country and city:

Line-up	2 x 45 min	3 x 45 min
Duo	500 to 900 EUR	700 to 1,200 EUR
Trio or quartet	900 to 1,600 EUR	1,200 to 2,200 EUR
Five to seven piece	1,400 to 2,800 EUR	1,800 to 3,600 EUR

What moves the number: distance, a Saturday in June versus a Thursday in February, whether you bring the PA and lights, and how much the host wants to customise (learning three new songs adds rehearsal hours; charge for them). If you are unsure how you sit against the market, gig fee benchmarks gives ranges by format.

Two pricing rules specific to parties:

1. Quote a package, not an hourly rate. "Two 45-minute sets, own PA and lights, background playlist between sets, arrival 2 hours before" is a product the host can compare. An hourly rate invites the question "can you do 90 minutes instead of two hours?"
2. Charge for overtime in advance. "Extra 30 minutes: 200 EUR, decided on the night by the host" is fair to both sides and gets used at a third of parties.

Private hosts are often paying from their own pocket and are sensitive to price in a way companies are not. Offer a smaller line-up option before you offer a discount.

The briefing call

Fifteen minutes on the phone with the host, two to three weeks before, changes everything. Ask:

• Who is the party for, and what music do they actually like? (Not what the host thinks a band should play.)
• Age range of the guests and how many.
• Is there a moment: a cake, a speech, a surprise entrance, a first dance? When?
• What time do guests arrive, eat, and when should dancing start?
• Where is the band set up, how much space, and where is the power?
• Are there noise limits or neighbours? What time must the music stop?
• Who is your contact on the night if it is not the host?
• Are there three to five songs that must be played, and any that must not?

Write the answers into the gig notes. The band should not need to ask the host anything on the night except "shall we start?"

Noise and the neighbours

Garden and house parties end early because of one thing: a neighbour or the local rules. Find out the curfew in the briefing call and plan sets around it. Practicalities:

• Bring a sound level meter app and agree a level with the host before guests arrive. Play the first set at that level and do not creep.
• Keep the drummer on a small kit, rods or brushes, or an electronic kit for indoor rooms under 60 square metres. A full acoustic kit in a living room is a wall of noise with no mix.
• Point speakers away from the property line and put the subwoofer on the ground close to the band, not out in the garden.
• Have an acoustic-ish final set ready for the last 30 minutes if the curfew is soft: guitars, cajon, vocals. Hosts love it and neighbours tolerate it.

Alcohol

The host will offer drinks. Take the water, take one drink after the last set. Bands that drink at private parties get sloppy in the second set, and the sloppy set is the one the host remembers. Put "band members do not drink alcohol before or during the performance" in your terms; hosts read it as professionalism. And the driver drinks nothing at all, as covered in gig travel logistics.

Timing the night

A typical 60-guest party from 19:00:

• 17:00 load-in, 18:15 soundcheck done, background playlist on.
• 19:00 to 20:30 guests arrive and eat. The band eats now, before the first set, never between sets.
• 20:30 the moment: speech, cake, surprise. The band is ready to start 60 seconds after it ends, because that is when the room is most together.
• 20:35 set 1, 45 minutes, opening with three fast, familiar songs.
• 21:20 break, 20 minutes, playlist at a level people can talk over.
• 21:40 set 2, 45 to 60 minutes, closing with the host's favourite.
• 22:40 the host decides on the paid extra 30 minutes.
• 23:00 curfew. Playlist for 30 minutes while you pack.

If the moment is late (speeches always run long), hold the first set. Starting while the host is still clinking a glass is the one mistake you cannot fix.

Requests

Private parties bring more requests than any other gig, and most come from the host's uncle. A simple policy: play requests that are in the repertoire, if they fit the set; write down the rest and say "we'll see what we can do". Never promise a song you have not rehearsed. The host's must-play list from the briefing call takes priority over everything shouted at the stage. There is a full approach in handling song requests live.

Keeping the room

• The first three songs decide the night. Familiar, fast, in the era of the guest of honour's twenties.
• Watch the floor, not your setlist. If a song empties the floor, the next one must be a guaranteed filler.
• Say the guest of honour's name from the stage, once per set. Dedicate the last song of the night to them.
• Play the break short. Twenty minutes, not thirty. At a party, momentum is everything.
• End on time, to the minute. A host who told the neighbours "until 23:00" needs you to stop at 23:00.

Do this today

1. Write a private-party package with a fixed price and a fixed overtime rate.
2. Build a "party" setlist variant of two sets, with the first three songs and the closer fixed.
3. Prepare the briefing-call question list and keep it with your gig template.
4. Add a "no alcohol before or during" line to your terms.

Where expert.band helps

Put the briefing answers in the gig description and the must-play songs as notes on the attached setlist, so the whole band sees "cake at 20:30, host's song last" on the printed gig sheet. Duplicate your standard party setlist per host and adjust it, and quote the package with the overtime line as an optional item excluded from the total so the host sees the price of the extra half hour before the night.