The complete guide to playing weddings

Weddings are the best-paid regular work most function bands will ever have, and the least forgiving. There is one chance at the first dance. The timeline slips by 40 minutes and nobody tells you. The father of the bride wants to sing. The couple booked you 14 months ago and have since changed their minds about everything except the date.

Bands that thrive on weddings are not the ones with the biggest repertoire. They are the ones who understand the day, ask the right questions early, and handle the surprises without the couple noticing. This is what that looks like.

The wedding day from the band's seat

A typical European wedding day with a band, and where you fit:

Time	What is happening	The band
13:00–14:30	Ceremony	Optional: acoustic duo or trio, 20–30 minutes of music before, 3–4 pieces during (entrance, signing, exit)
14:30–17:00	Drinks reception, photos	Optional: background set, 45–60 minutes acoustic or jazz
15:00–17:00		Full band load-in and soundcheck, usually while guests are outside
17:00–19:30	Dinner and speeches	Background music from a playlist (yours, quiet, or theirs); band eats
19:30–20:00	Cake, evening guests arrive	Playlist, last checks
20:00–20:10	First dance	The moment. Then straight into set 1
20:10–21:15	Set 1	60 minutes, builds from familiar mid-tempo to full dance floor
21:15–21:45	Break	Playlist at the right volume, not silence
21:45–23:00	Set 2	75 minutes, the big one
23:00–00:00	DJ, playlist or set 3	Depends on what was booked
00:00–01:00	Load-out	Quiet, quick, no shouting in the car park

Timings vary by country and by couple; the point is that from 15:00 to 01:00 you are there, which is why a wedding costs what it costs.

What couples ask, and what to ask them

Couples typically ask: Can you play our first dance? Can we choose the songs? Can you learn a song? Do you take requests? What do you wear? How loud are you? Do you provide the sound? Can you do the ceremony too? Can you DJ between sets? What happens if someone is ill?

Have written answers to all of these on the website and in the quote. The band's questions, asked at enquiry and again six weeks out, matter more:

1. Venue, room, and whether there is a noise limiter (very common in the UK, increasingly common elsewhere; a limiter at 90 dB changes how you play).
2. Guest count and the age spread. 40 guests over 60 is a different setlist from 150 guests under 35.
3. The first dance song, and whether they want it live or played from a recording (both are fine; ask).
4. Any must-plays, any do-not-plays, and any songs with history ("please not that one, it was her ex's").
5. Speeches before or after dinner, and who is running the timeline (planner, venue coordinator, or the best man, in which case build in 30 minutes of slack).
6. Load-in access: stairs, lift, distance from the van, parking, whether there is a curfew.
7. Power: how many sockets near the stage, and whether the venue has had bands before.
8. Meals for the band, and where the band can be during dinner.
9. The contact on the day who is not the couple.

The first dance

Ask for the exact recording they mean, with the artist and version; there are three "Perfect"s and two "At Last"s. Learn it in that key and at that tempo, and ask how they want it to end: full song, faded after two minutes when the guests join, or a specific cue. Rehearse the ending twice as much as the rest.

If the song is beyond the band (a full orchestral ballad with a four-piece), say so early and offer to play it from the recording with the band coming in for the second dance. Couples prefer honesty at booking to a shaky version on the night.

Learning one song for the first dance is usually included; learning three is a paid extra (typically 50–100 € per song). Write the policy into the quote.

Sets, requests and keeping the floor

For a 60-minute set 1 and a 75-minute set 2, plan roughly 15 and 18 songs. Set 1 starts with the songs the widest range of guests know and builds; set 2 opens at full energy and holds it. Building a wedding setlist that fills the floor goes into the structure and the tempo curve.

Requests: take them if the song is in the repertoire, otherwise say "we'll see what we can do" and move on. Give the couple a list of 30–40 must-play candidates beforehand and ask them to mark 10; that way the guests' requests have already been answered by the couple. Handle the drunk uncle who wants to sing with "after this one, come and find me at the break", which works because he never does. See handling song requests live.

Planners, coordinators and the timeline

If there is a planner, they are your client on the day and the couple's on the year. Send them the tech needs, the timeline you expect, and the contact for the band; confirm the day-of timeline with them a week out. If there is no planner, the venue coordinator runs the room, and the band should quietly become the person who keeps the evening on time, because nobody else will.

The most common slip: speeches overrun by 45 minutes, dinner ends at 21:00, and the couple still want two full sets before the midnight curfew. Have a plan: set 1 shortened to 40 minutes, a 15-minute break, set 2 as booked. Tell the couple the plan once, cheerfully, then run it.

Pricing weddings

Weddings cost more than a bar gig because the day is longer, the stakes are higher, and there is no second chance. In western Europe, a five-piece function band typically charges 1,500–3,500 € for evening sets including sound, with acoustic ceremony or drinks sets adding 300–600 €, and a DJ service between sets adding 200–400 €. Ranges vary widely by country and by the band's reputation; see gig fee benchmarks.

Deposits are typically 20–30%, non-refundable, with the balance due 14–30 days before. Cancellation terms are your protection against the one wedding a year that is called off; see deposits and cancellation policies.

What to put in writing

The quote and contract should state: date, venue, times of arrival, soundcheck and each set, what is included (sound, lights, DJ playlist in breaks, one learned song), what is extra, the fee, deposit and balance dates, the cancellation terms, meals, parking, a noise limiter clause, overtime rate, and what happens if a band member is ill (a dep of equal standard is provided). The gig contract: 12 clauses covers the wording.

Do this today

• Write your answers to the ten couple questions and put them on the website.
• Write the band's nine questions into your enquiry reply template.
• Build a 40-song "pick 10" list for couples.
• Rehearse the ending of every first dance you have booked this season.

Where expert.band helps

A wedding is a nine-month project with a lot of moving parts, and expert.band keeps them on one gig page: the request with the date held while the band answers a one-tap availability request by email and SMS, the quote with ceremony, drinks and party sets as separate catalog lines that the couple opens on a link, the setlist with the first dance's key and tempo, and the packing checklist built from your wedding kit. The printed gig sheet gives every member the timeline, the address and the contact on the day.